Who would win in a fight? 13
Short-form Poetry rumble! Emphasis on short.
Sonnet vs Limerick
A sonnet has a lot of tricky rules, and not just in the meter and the rhyme. The subject, tone, and muse are also tools that sonnet writers need to keep in line. Plus, usually a sonnet has a twist that's stuck somewhere between lines eight and nine, so now you've got to go from being pissed to acting as if everything is fine. And yet a sonnet's not like that at all; it's simple as the weekly shopping list you write down as you head out to the mall. With fourteen lines, you've mostly got the gist. It also helps to end it with a pun. If you don't feel "write", then you know you're done.
A limerick for better or worse is a joke poem, stuffed in five verses. You must squeeze a lot in the lines that you've got, and then load it with bull$#!% and curses.
Winner: Sonnet
Haiku vs. Blank verse
A word Polaroid free from rules except for some syllable counting. If you need more beats, you could write a second one, if you like cheating.
Blank verse is basically prose and don't try to tell me that it isn't you can pretty much write any damn thing on a piece of paper and bang you've got blank verse and suddenly you're an amazing poet even though you didn't think once about meter or rhyme or metaphor or any of the other things that real poets do no all you did was take out the punctuation and suddenly you're the next e e cummings and then when people start to catch on that you're slumming your way through your poem you just add a few wacky nonsequiturs for people to try to read some deeper meaning into and then sit back and laugh at all the poor saps you've hoodwinked like the lion hoodwinks the gazelle under starry skies when first the blood flowed from claw to heart and back again zippy skippy woo woo
Winner: Haiku
Double Dactyl vs. Villanelle
Dactylly Schmacktylly. This kind of poetry calls for some gibberish, meter and rhyme. Then put a big word like septuagenarian there at the ending. Whee! What a good time.
A villanelle repeats itself a lot so try to make the first verse really great or you will get annoyed at what you've got. The repetition makes it hard to plot, so there's a lot of hurry-up-and-wait. A villanelle repeats itself a lot. If you rushed in you might find that you're caught. Just don't let it become a poem you hate or you will get annoyed at what you've got. There's nothing here. Just look at what I've wrought: it's like unending gruel left on my plate. A villanelle repeats itself a lot. A really gripping poet I am not. I pray that you do not repeat my fate or you will get annoyed with what you've got. Please do not forget what you've been taught. Just keep in mind these urgent words I state "A villanelle repeats itself a lot" or you will get annoyed with what you've got.
Winner: Double Dactyl
(To be continued)
